Friday, February 26, 2010

Red Popsicle

(Banana Bread from Moma Karen, yum! Tim adding some much needed coolness to the situation!)

I'm sitting here listening to what would have been our reception music, and eating a red Popsicle. The goodness of it wore off just now, so its sitting there melting on a post it note. I can't throw it in the garbage here, so I'll wait till I'm done writing.

I don't really know why I am here to write--or what to write about, sometimes you just need to let it out. Tim is resting. Some of the medications he is on mess with his sleeping schedule. He still sleeps through the night (which is an answer to prayer!) but finds himself sleeping most of the afternoon. Last year, I used to get restless with him sleeping so much, but now, when I see him sleeping there, peace just warms me. The rest is what will help heal his body.

(this is the light at the end of the tunnel..what a sign!)

There is this song that I had planned to sing to Tim at our wedding. There is a line in the song I used to get butterflies over...this song used to be played all the time in my bedroom long before I dated Tim. The line says "Let me know you would fight thousands for my love." O, I used to sit there and wonder if the man I was to marry would fight for me, would fight for my love, would never let anything else get in the way. Every woman desires to be fought for...I sure did. Now that line means something totally different to me. The roles have changed. Now, Tim is fighting for his life, and we am fighting off the thousands of things that may try to get in his way. I have this picture of him and I hand in hand just blitzing this stupid cancer, and when he needs to rest, I will always continue to help him, stand beside him and let him know that I love him without measure. It's funny though, he is so selfless even when he shouldn't be. Tim puts on his armor everyday and fights. I have no doubt that he will be successful, he will never quit. This is a FIGHT. But we are fighting the GOOD fight here.

People don't realize what this is like, unless they are going through it directly. If you've had or have a close family member, mom, dad, sister, husband, brother facing Cancer, you know what its like to have a pit in your stomach most of the day. If you are fighting Cancer--you know that it takes every ounce of strength to keep going every day. You know that its impossible to make it without a higher power, without positive everything all around, without love. Caregiver or Fighter, this process is set apart from anything else in the world. Nothing could compare. In this battle, I hope you realize and discover what a great and powerful God we have. Even if you don't think He cares..and He has let you down, He hasn't. O trust me, He has not, and will not. Fighter or Caregiver, you are NOT alone.

We're home for tonight and tomorrow night, and have to return Sunday morning. Tim will probably need a blood transfusion which is totally normal as his counts start to fall. The cancer is disappearing. Then he has from Sunday till the following Friday off. He has another dose of chemo next Friday, but until then, we're praying he can stay home. He needs home. Especially since this came on so suddenly. Its funny how you take for granted that you'll fall asleep beside your husband each night, and when you don't get aches. At least we have tonight and tomorrow. Its about treasuring the little things right? Treasure who you have beside you at night. Tell them you treasure them.

ENJOY your day. :)

For those of you who are some specific things to lift up to our God whose promise is YES and AMEN:

-That these blast cells would continue to disappear and STAY away.
-A clear bone marrow aspirate in a few weeks. They will recheck to make sure the marrow isn't producing more cancer cells, and WE know it won't be!
-Freedom from side effects (the bible says that even though people are affected left and right, it won't touch you!) We come against any negative side effects from these drugs and chemos!
-Peace and supernatural strength
-That Tim would be able to rest at home ALOT this journey.
-NO mucositis.
-That we together would impact the unit we are on, and the people there. Alot of the people on the unit are pretty hopeless. Even if we don't speak, we want people to see a contagious strength through Tim and I.
-That Jerry or Andrew would be a PERFECT 10 out of 10 match for Tim. That God would begin to purify their cells for the transplant...and Tims too. We're praising God for the victory ALREADY!

Thanks everybody! We will update you!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Off to War

We have some incredible people serving our nation. They selflessly leave family and friends and fight for the freedom of their country. They stick on that uniform and go into warrior mode.

Tim and I are going to war...but its a war against Leukemia this time.

Sometimes we can't believe its back, sometimes we shake our heads and wonder.

This is Tims third time with Cancer, and frankly its brutal. BUT, we will never ever falter, never quit, never live in the pits, we WILL rise above yet again.

Here is the plan: Tim has begun two rounds of chemotherapy. The first week is almost done. After that he has a few days off, then another round of chemo. These first few weeks of chemo are to put him into remission. So far he has gone from 20 blast cells to 2.2 blast cells, so its working! We are under the understanding that he will then have recovery time allowing his counts to return to normal and then face more intense chemo to completely knock out his bone marrow to make room for the donor bone marrow transplant. Both of his brothers were a match in 2002, so they are retesting them. It looks like one of them will be donating their bone marrow to save Tims life.

After the transplant, it takes 7-10 days to see the counts start to come up. THEN, its all uphill from there. We are believing for the same things as last time. Minimal side effects, (Tim didn't have ANY of the side effects they said he would) and no infection. We trust that this transplant will be curative and even though its another tough road, there is a big bright light at the end of the tunnel.

We can't wait to have a life free of Cancer. It is going to be amazing. We are almost there.

Tim is doing really well guys, although having to face this again and again gets tiring. Its taken alot to get used to. Life was going so well, we were planning another wedding celebration for the summer, Tim had been promoted and was loving work, I was accepted and supposed to start nursing, we were planning our honeymoon, life without Cancer was amazing. Even in the midst of all of that..and then now, life is still amazing. We won't let disease take our joy, nothing will. War is never fun, but its worth it.

We have a big support team behind us, and need to thank alot of people;

Dr. Anthony- Thank you for breaking the news to Tim and I in such a kind and compassionate way. You are such a light, we really appreciate you. Tim is so lucky to have a doctor like you.

Unit 57- Wow. Youguys are amazing. Thank you to the nurses who take exceptional care of Tim. You are always ready and willing to do anything to make this journey better for him. We are really lucky to be on this unit...we wouldn't want to be anywhere else. To the rest of the staff--you guys add such joy to the unit. We thank you for that!

Amber- Thank you for letting me stay at your place, so close to Tim. Thanks for packing me leftovers and baking for Tim. Like I said yesterday, you offer such a peaceful environment. Its hard leaving Tim at the hospital each night, but it makes it easier knowing I am so warmly welcomed at your place.

Springs- Thank you for praying and fighting along side of us. We are blown away with the support. THANK YOU for donating your platelets and eagerly encouraging and uplifting us. Keep those warrior prayers coming.

Parents- Thanks for your support. We can't do this without you. Thanks for accommodating us so well and making sure we are well taken care of. We love youguys.

No matter what happens in your life or the lives of those around you..God is good, He is the healer and sustainer of Tims life! We will win!

-Christa Harriman

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Feb. 21-2010

Hey Guys,

Just wanted to update you all that as of Friday afternoon - Feb 19, we learnt that I have been diagnosed with leukemia now. We will update our blog at a later time to keep you informed of my prognosis but just like before - we will win! We will continue to fight, we will continue to press on, and we will get through this!

"Anything is possible. You can be told you have a 90% chance or a 50% chance or a 1% chance, but you have to believe, and you have to fight" - Lance Armstrong.

Cheers guys!