Two weeks ago, the fire alarm rang out in our church service, once before church and once right before Pastor Leon was to preach. Of course, even though we all thought it was nothing, we evacuated, and eventually after some debate decided to have the service outside. How perfect that the title of Leon's message was "Change." While sitting out on the grass in the perfect summer air surrounded by a few hundred amazing people who devoted time every day to pray for Tim and I...life was suddenly put into perspective for me. Embracing Change. How many of us do that?
I've been through twenty years of change. Little changes, like crawling to walking, diapers to the potty, a crib to the big girl bed...grade 1 to grade 12, brown hair, red hair, fake nails, red nails, insecurity, pain, happiness, death, life, rejection, acceptance. I've had my life all planned out and seen it change in a matter of hours. I remember the emotions and excitment of our approaching wedding day being knocked aside by the terror of a disease. If anyone has experienced drastic change, overwhelming unwanted change, it has been Tim and I.
Why wallow? Why sit there and wish for the "old" days, when a new journey is infront. I could have ignored the change and ran away from it, but I would still be in the same place, the same unchanged place. Instead, no matter how painful, unwanted and stupid the change was...I embraced it, and accepted it for what it was. It turns out when things change in a big way, even though we don't want them to, they turn out to be the greatest stories, the most amazing memories. What if you never took those first steps after all? Where would you be? Unchanged and annoying! Who wants a 20 year old baby in their lives?
I don't. Nor do I want to be.
Now. As Tim and I look back on our time in the hospital, the treatment, the unit, even the day of diagnosis, we celebrate each moment and find the joy in it! Why? Because change is a GOOD thing. It brings forth the true qualities in a person and shows the world where their focus is. I want people to see my focus is on Christ. I am a strong woman, I will perservere and accept any change that comes my way, no matter what it is.
Each day now is amazing. Each day is full of change. Tim is back at part time work, and loving it! He finds new challenges in his day, adopts them and succeeds. He is such an asset to his team, and according to them has been very missed! I am back at work as well, with two of the most incredible kids. Each day they greet me with excitment and joy, they don't care where I have been or where I am going, even at 2 and 3 years old, they have accepted the fact that Tim was sick, now he is better, he has no hair, and heck, they love him like crazy! Why at two and three can they accept drastic change, embrace it and move on and we "adults" start cursing, throwing up our hands, and for some reason cannot even sit still when traffic is re routed? Trust me, if that sounds like you, here is a little warning; get your priorities straight, because if life ever throws you a curve ball...well, I don't even want to know what will happen to you.
Leon taught us how to accept and embrace change that Sunday night, Tim's battle taught us how to find joy in every situation, and Weston and Sawyer teach me every day to appreciate the little things, to laugh, to giggle, play hide and seek and enjoy CHANGE.