What do I say and where do I begin. Not many words run through my mind right now that even make a perfect sentence. When the doctor spoke those terrifying words that every person so desperately does not want to hear, the only thing that I could think was...Damn. And then, within a second the song 'Here we go again' by Whitesnake popped into my head.
I kept reminding myself - "Ive got this, I can do this, I will beat this, my life is no playground for the enemy, he does not control me and he don't wanna mess with me."
So what is it you may be asking. Well since my last journal entry, today was the day that I met with the doctor to determine what was going on and what's the next step. When the doctor game into the room with a little grin on his face with that slight awkward expression I knew the news wasn't what I wanted to hear. He sat down and as soon as the word unfortunately came from his mouth I knew he had not sayth anymore. My cancer has returned in what they call a form of lymphoma. There is good news and bad news.
The good news:
1. The MRI came back clear showing that my spine and brain had not been effected.
2. My bone marrow came back clear showing healthy signs and strength.
3. I did not have to go to Edmonton for any tests like they thought I would.
4. It took 4 years for my cancer to return - which is much better then it coming back the first year I finished treatments or while in treatment my first round about.
5. It is only in the upper body and has not spread.
The bad news:
1. Lymphoma was found on a few spots on my neck and under my peck muscles.
2. It's an aggressive form of cancer.
3. Treatments will be intense.
4. I will need a stem cell transplant which breaks into two options: One is a donor stem cell transplant. The second option is an auto stem cell transplant where they take my own stem cells and try to feed it back to my body.
On June 1st I will be admitted to the hospital for a minimum of 3 weeks where they will begin high dose chemotherapy and then take stem cells from my own body and store in a freezer. They will give me a few weeks to recover and then I will be admitted again for another 3 weeks to receive more chemo and the stem cell transplant. All taking a total of about 6 months which includes treatments, transplant, monitoring, recovering, and follow-ups.
Tomorrow morning I will start the first round of chemo which will stabilize everything and prep my body for the transplant.
Why am I being so descriptive and in detail you might ask - only because I know your going to ask who, what, when, where and why...and sometimes how and because I'm okay with sharing the news.
I know that I have a bumpy road ahead of me but I am believing for as little side effects as possible and know that once again I will come out the other side flying with colors. This WILL NOT get me down and will not distract me from my purpose and where I am going in life. I WILL press on and I WILL live in freedom and victory.
Thank you all for support, prayers, encouragement, and love.
PS. Christa and I have made a decision to post pone the wedding on July 4th and will definitely be planning a party for the future. We will keep you informed of when the new big day will be.