Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Tuesday April 28 - Shattering News

Today is the day it all started. Before that annoying little device even began it's taunting harassment, my body in its deepest form of rest could feel that this day would be the most challenging of them all. 6:30 AM the beeping starts and with the push of a button it was delayed till 7:00 AM - what seemed like a mere 3 minutes later.
Rubbing my eyes and fumbling for the light switch I went into the washroom and did the normal look in the mirror with that stare of death thinking..."wwwwhhhyyy do I have to get up?"
Once I was washed up and looking somewhat decent to present myself to the world I headed to the place where believe it or not, my peace awaits me. From power tools to banging hammers, sheets of plywood turning into creativity and art...this is the place I call work.
This morning I was helping Harold with a tub surround, learning yet again another wonderful task which I'm sure my hands will touch many more times to come as I pursue this career. But what seemed like a relatively not to shabby day (from what I expected when I first woke up...which is my typical attitude most mornings), turned into a day of seeking answers, wondering yet again the why me and what did I do wrong series of questions, and of course what will happen to my loved ones.
The tone in the doctor's voice said it all. I knew that he needed not go any further and that the results from my tests weren't what I wanted to hear. "Tim, it isn't good he said, you'll be booked into the Tom Baker Cancer Center first thing Thursday morning". He reminded me of my positive attitude and the things that I have accomplish in my life time and encouraged me that this is yet again, another bump in the road.
For those of you who have no clue what's going's how it all began:
About a month or so ago I hit my head on a digger and being the oh so man that I am I toughened the pain and continued my duties for a few days only realizing that I was being dump and should really get my head checked out.
Knowing that I should be more keen to look after anything that could possibly hinder my health I sometimes choose to neglect my health for the sake of avoiding taking a day off of work to sit in a doctor's office for an hour and a half to find out that I am fine. Go home and take a Tylenol and sleep for a bit.
But with the encouragement from Christa to go I went to the doctor to find out that my head is fine - a little bruise and a cut with a minor concussion but nothing too severe. But this is where the abnormal lumps were discovered on my neck which led to a bunch of testing and exams.
From here, this is where the story unfolds. Going back and forth to the doctor's every week to
blood tests, anti-biotics, and examinations to see if anything could be determined. Nothing. No change in size, no disappearing, no diagnosis, nothing.
From here I was sent to a private doctor here in Calgary to do a biopsy which led to my conversation with my specialist at the Children's Hospital that marked to beginning of another journey.
At this point I don't think that much has set in. I know what I'm in for and what to expect - therefore fear does not consume me. The way that I look at it - this is my story and this is what has been layed before me. I must press on and come out the other side showing that nothing will interfere with my purpose, nothing will knock me off track...nothing will get me down...and like always...I WILL WIN!!!

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